Bittersweet Memory
by xHeartlessKairi
Summary: He never liked strawberries, tangerines , and his birthday...They all reminded him of her... :MikanxNatsume:


A/N: I was inspired when I read "**Allure of Roses**" by **Crimson Memories **again. It was a really sad one-shot and an idea popped up in my head. Please read "**Allure of Roses**" by **Crimson Memories**! It's a really sad one-shot! There will be minor spoilers from the manga so read this one-shot in your own discretion! (Although I'll make it a bit different and short...) I like the sound of "Bittersweet Memory" more than "Bittersweet Memories". If only we can do italics in summaries and titles...

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice. **

One-shot dedicated to **Xxdarkness-angelxX **for being my 200th reviewer on my story **Beneath Happiness**!

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**Bittersweet Memory**

_If you could only see the way she loves me,_

_Then maybe you would understand..._

_Why I feel this way about our love,_

_And what I must do..._

He never liked strawberries or his birthday...

Maybe he didn't like the color or what it looks like. Maybe he didn't like strawberries in general. Whatever the reason may be, he hates strawberries with a passion.

He stared outside of his room window, gazing at the bright morning sun. It was a normal day in Alice Academy, for everyone else that is. He was greeted by many others, wishing him a "Happy Birthday" but he paid no attention to it. It has been one year since then...

Since the day his Fire Alice, the only thing he had left to protect people dear to him, was stolen. Since the day his _favorite _polka-dotted girl was fully controlled by the higher-ups of the Academy...And since the day he for once, felt helpless to everyone...

Here he was, still in the school that he _once _hated, even though he is without an Alice. The Academy took everything and everyone away from him..._She _took away the only thing he had lived his life for. Why isn't he happy at all? Isn't he happy that he didn't have to deal measures with his Fire Alice no more? He frowned at his own question. No...He is angry that _she _is using _his _Alice for missions...His Alice...the limitless Alice...that shortens the user's _life span_. Just thinking about her using his Alice and in the end loses her life makes his blood boil and hate himself and his own Alice even more.

He let out a big sigh and closed his eyes in frustration. His left hand was reopening and closing, as if something was in his hand. _Her Alice Stone_. He remembered the day she gave him her Alice Stone...

_FLASHBACK_

_She was grinning stupidly at her partner when the lights in the classroom suddenly turned on. He was surprised when a hand suddenly grasped his._

_"Bingo!" she said cheerfully. She giggled slightly. He still has this shock expression on his face. "Uhm, here..."_

_She put something very small in his hand. He just stared at her in bewilderment._

_"It was all I can make with all of my strength," she said to him. She then started to walk away from him, stealing one more glance, she flashed him a smile and a wave._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

He had this small smile on his face as he gripped her Alice Stone tighter. What was strange though, her Alice Stone _was _nothing but a mere tiny pebble. What he was grasping in his hand was now a fully grown stone. He never thought Alice Stones can grow like plants. He heard the stronger the person who made the Alice Stone's feelings are, the more the Alice Stone grows. He shrugged, maybe it was just a myth.

_If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says..._

_When she says she loves me ..._

He remembered her words very well. The time where she stole his Alice...The time where she also stole his heart...He could never forget that day...On his own birthday...

_FLASHBACK_

_"Natsume!" a feminine voice cried out at him. He turned around just in time to be glomped by the brunette. He was so shock that he was unable to keep the two balanced so they fell on the ground together, his head hit the cold hard ground._

_"Oi," he grumbled. "What the fuck was that for?!"_

_"Happy Birthday!" Mikan grinned at him. He had a scowled look on his face but was soon replaced by an expressionless one when he saw the Sakura Tree they always sat near blooming. Sakura petals fell down on the two as if it was raining. Only instead of raining water it was raining flower petals. Why would it bloom in the ending of Fall? Didn't Spring passed already?_

_"Sugoi!" Mikan exclaimed. She reached out her hands and tried to catch many petals as she could, still sitting on Natsume's stomach. He glanced at her and watched her careless attitude. He got annoyed with her sitting on him so he lit up a small flame at the ribbons that held up her two ponytails._

_"Itai!" she screamed. She nullified his Alice but it was too late for her burnt ribbons. Her brunette hair ran freely from her hands when she tried to keep her hair in the hairstyle she always come in as. She glared daggers at him while he smirked in triumph. An idea popped up in her mind at the same time when an invisible light bulb popped up on top of her head. She grinned at him sweetly which brought Natsume to raise up one of his eyebrows. She then stood up from him and quickly fell down on him, hurting her partner in the process._

_Oof!_

_"Why you..." he growled at her. She just stuck out her tongue cutely at him. He watched her as the wind blew by, the wind deliberately pass by her long, wavy brunette hair. She looked so cute if it wasn't for her clumsy attitude, but that's what made her look cute._

_"Oh and here's your present Natsume," she interrupted his thoughts. She stood up from him and held out her hand for him to take. He just scoffed at it and stood up by himself, leaning his back against the trunk of the blooming Sakura Tree. She had this pouty expression on her face._

_"What is it?" he said. He had those chibi eyes that looked annoyed and careless._

_She just grinned at him. That brought more confusion to the raven-haired boy but was soon replaced by pure bewilderment. She brought her lips to his, locking them both into a sweet but small kiss. It didn't last much though, she pulled away from him, giving him the smile he fell in love with. With that settled, she started walking away from him, not giving him any final words before she leaves._

_"Wait!" he called out to her. She didn't stop herself from walking. He gritted his teeth and clenched both of his fists in frustration. He was going to use his Alice to stop her and make her look at him in the eyes. He released his Alice, or so he thought. His eyes widened, noticing that no flames were summoned. He closed his eyes and tried again, focusing all his strength to imagine raging fire. He reopened his eyes again, still seeing no flames at all. He did notice that the girl a few feet away from him stopped her tracks, her back still face towards him and her hands clasped together behind her back. "What the fuck did you do?!"  
_

_She turned around to face him. He bit his lip when he saw tears running from her eyes. What caught his eyes the most was a small rounded object in her hand, and that small sad smile. He heard her sniffle and it was soon audible that she was crying her heart out. Rain of flower petals was soon replaced by real rain, rain of water. There sat the girl on the wet ground, crying her heart out while he just gazed at her._

_"I'm sorry, Natsume-kun," she whispered. It was still audible for him to hear. "I can't stand seeing you in pain no longer so I stole your Alice."_

_"You idiot," he whispered back. He tried to walk to her and hold her in his arms, but his legs were froze where he stood. All he did was clenched his fists, not caring if he clenched them too tight that blood will come out of it. "Don't you know the consequences of your actions?! What am I suppose to do when I do my missions?!"_

_"You are replaced by someone else for your missions," she replied to him. "I now am fully responsible for the missions,"_

_He just stared at her. He wanted to hit the crap out of her for saying that, despite she's fragile._

_"I already told Persona," she simply said. "Your mission days are over. You don't have to deal with the pain anymore,"_

_"But why..."_

_"I want to be strong," she whispered. She started walking away. She heard his footsteps behind her but it was soon stopped when she used the Shadow Manipulation Alice she copied from her senpai. "I want to take all of your pain and suffering and carry it myself...I want to be strong...Strong like you and Hotaru..."_

_END OF FLASHBACK_

_Well you got your reasons,_

_And you got your lies..._

_And you got your manipulations,_

_They cut me down to size..._

"Tch," he said to himself. He was so frustrated at her, mostly himself for not being able to stop her. He started at the miniature hour glass his best friend, Ruka, gave to him for his birthday years ago. He reached out his right hand and grasped it tightly in his hand, closing his eyes as if he was making a wish.

"Natsume!" a masculine voice called out. He reopened his eyes and loosened his grip on the hour glass. He turned around and was greeted by his best friend who was carrying a bowl. He was panting slightly as if he was out for a morning jog.

"Morning," he said gleefully.

"Morning..." Natsume trailed off.

"I figured you would be here Natsume," Ruka told him. He took a seat next to him and stared at his best friend's right hand.

"I see you still kept the hour glass I gave you for your birthday before," he smiled. "I hope you liked the watch I gave you today too."

"This?" he asked. He held up his left wrist at Ruka, showing a silver wrist watch at him. For some reason, it didn't look like an ordinary watch. It looked way more high-tech and it never made a ticking noise like all clocks and normal watches do.

"Yes," Ruka answered. "I actually got the watch from Imai. She told me to give this to you as a birthday gift, from both her and me strange enough. She said that the watch will go back in time to the memories that lingers in your mind right now...It's like an Illusion Alice like Tobita's Alice only you can only see it and not the others; mind or standing right in front of you, kind of creepy but nice actually. It's like a match of the hour glass."

Natsume just nodded. No wonder he was seeing some past memories of his in his mind, literally. He thought he was hallucinating.

"..."

"What's that?"

Natsume pointed at the bowl that Ruka brought with him. Ruka looked at the direction of where his best friend was pointing at and he saw the bowl.

"Oh! I almost forgot," he said sheepishly. "I figured you were hungry since you've been sulking all day in your room. Anything wrong?"

Ruka handed the bowl to Natsume. He stared at what was inside the bowl. Strawberries and sliced tangerines.

He flinched. Ruka noticed.

"Ah, thinking about her?" Ruka said with a small sympathetic smile. "She wouldn't like it if you were sad on your own birthday you know,"

"You don't understand half of it," Natsume muttered.

"Oh I do," Natsume whipped his head at Ruka in bewilderment. "Sakura told me...before she was..."

"She did?" Natsume spat. "Because of her stupid actions, she's probably dead a----"

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Ruka shouted at his best friend. Both of them were shocked. Ruka covered his mouth when he realized he shouted at his best friend for the first time. "...Natsume...I..."

"It's alright," he shrugged. "It's nice to see you argue with me _for once_,"

"Natsume..." Ruka looked at him who was staring blankly at the bowl of fruits. He bit his lip.

_Saying you love but you don't,_

_You give your love but you won't..._

"Sakura is strong, she won't be defeated that easily...You of all people should know that," Ruka whispered. "We'll get her back someday, then everything will be the same routine with her again!"

Ruka grabbed Natsume's left hand and squeezed it. He saw a tangerine-colored Alice Stone in the hand but paid no attention. He knew _she _gave him that. He cared about the both of them to tear the two apart. His best friend needed her more than he needed her. Tears formed in his eyes as he reminisced the memories when the brunette was with the two all the time. The time during the Alice Festival where the three played in the Musical Play and that time where they entered the Haunted Mansion together. All of the memories of the three was nostalgic.

He felt a tight grip on the hand where he grasped Natsume's. He looked up to see him, seeing him not tearing his eyes from the bowl. His eyes widened when one tear fell from Natsume's eyes and was dropped on a slice of tangerine. He never did saw him cry anymore. He always had to lock up his feelings and never let them out. He squeezed his best friend's hand again, reassuring him.

"We'll get her back," he whispered. He let go of his hand and started to walk towards the door. He cast one sad look towards his best friend who didn't even notice, still having that sad or straight face. His hand gripped the knob for a few seconds then turned it clockwise.

He glanced at Natsume again. Before he closed the door, he whispered, "Oh, she sneaked into my room to tell me to tell you this. She said, 'Don't be sad. It's not right to be sad on your own birthday. I'm sorry for everything but I did what my heart told me to do. Happy Birthday, Natsume!' Please rethink of it. Happy Birthday, Natsume,"

The door closed, leaving the _ex_fire-caster alone. He let out a big sigh of frustration. He should have known that she was watching him.

_If you could only see the way she loves me,_

_Then maybe you would understand..._

_Why I feel this way about our love,_

_And what I must do..._

He gripped both his hands on the side of the bowl, not tearing his eyes off from it. Did you know he also _hate _tangerines? How it tastes? The color that it is? _Whose name means "tangerines"? _He absolutely hated it as much as strawberries. It also reminded him of her. Her and her childish _strawberry pattern _panties.

He took one of the strawberry, glancing at it one more time, before he put it in his mouth, tasting the _bittersweet _juices. First, he tasted that sour juices that always come first directly at him. Then, he started to taste the sweetness of it, making the strawberry live up to its name as a bittersweet fruit. He _once _loved strawberries for its taste, sour on the outside but when you get used to it, it's really sweet. He took a sliced tangerine and ate it as well. He closed his eyes and savaged the sweet taste of it. _It was as sweet as her smile._

_If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says,_

_When she says she loves me..._

He ate the strawberries and tangerines quietly, even though he didn't really like them. He knew he would probably see Ruka's determined face if he didn't eat them since he haven't ate for _days_; and he hates seeing his best friend concerning about him.

'_I'll do whatever it takes, to get the you we all lost back,_' he thought. He munched on the last strawberry roughly. '_So until then...wait for me...Ichigo-Kara,_'

He never liked strawberries, _tangerines_, or his birthday...It all reminded him of _her_...

_If you could only see the way she loves me,_

_Then maybe you would understand..._

_Why I feel this way about our love,_

_And what I must do...

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A/N: Uwah! I really DO suck at explicit details! Dx Please forgive me! ;_; Also, I never bring myself up to character dearth ): Just too sad. Oh well, this is the end of the one-shot! I hope you guys like it!

**Song Used: If You Could Only See **by **Tonic**

**Manga Spoilers:**

- Mikan really did give Natsume her tiny Alice Stone. (Chapter 72)

- Ruka really did give Natsume an hour glass for his birthday. (Chapter 46)

- Mikan really did want to carry everyone's pain and suffering to herself so she can be strong like Hotaru. (Chapter 32)

- (Not really a spoiler) Natsume really does love/hate strawberries... (Chapter 30)

That's all the manga spoilers I used! I think...

**Notice**: Yes I know it sounds alike like **Allure of Roses **by **Crimson Memories**. I wouldn't be writing this if it didn't. However, this is a Natsume POV ish. No character death whatsoever. That is the difference. Allure of Roses is way better than mine because of the awesome explicit details! I hope that clarifies everything.

Review!


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